the pain.
the hurt.
the heaviness.
the memories that chase you.
the words that continue to break you.
the darkness that envelops you.
the breath you can't seem to catch.
the list that topples you with anxiety.
the outside that doesn't match the inside.
the inside that doesn't match the outside.
the Savior that came for us,
to carry it all.
the Word that became flesh,
to this world of chaos.
the Hope of all humanity,
to the forgotten and lonely.
the Love that was born,
to fill the deep crevices in our heart.
the Light that was born,
to finally and forever triumph over darkness.
Be still today.
Before your King of Kings.
Before your Prince of Peace.
Before your Wonderful Counselor.
Before your Mighty God.
Before your Eternal Father.
Quiet your soul.
So that the vastness of this Promised savior,
may dwell in your heart.
That He left His throne,
To come here as flesh.
To be with us.
Pursue intimate relationship
WITH US.
Be vulnerable before your King.
so that your heart will receive
true intimacy with your Jesus.
This miracle. This light. This hope.
That was swaddled in a manger.
Surrounded by the stars.
The very people He created.
Let Him carry out His purpose in your life.
To take all that burdens you.
Cause He desires you to walk in lightness.
In freedom.
Surrounded in His everlasting love.
Release it all to Him.
That is why He came.
On this Christmas day in Bethlehem.
To rescue us from this world.
"When the time came to completion,
God sent His Son, born of a woman,
born under the law, to redeem those under the law,
so that we might receive adoption
as sons & daughters." Galatians 4:4-5
Merry Christmas.
May He dwell in your heavy hearts today,
and fill them with the gift of heavenly hope.
Emily Elizabeth
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
Thursday, November 29, 2018
A Thrill of Hope.
A Thrill of Hope,
The weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angels' voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born.
A thrill of H O P E.
A thrill of putting one step in front of the other.
A thrill of dreaming.
A thrill of waking up each morn.
A thrill of new seasons.
A thrill of distant opportunities becoming present.
A thrill of loving who is in front of you.
A thrill of the present monotony.
God has a way of reminding you how far you have grown.
For me,
It came in a conversation.
That even a year ago.
Would have brought anger, bitterness, hurt & pain
back to the surface of seasons of my past.
Yet,
My heart was flooded with peace.
I am healed.
God has removed all the pain.
The memories that were good & bad.
That brought laughter and tears.
That chapter, those scars.
Have been redeemed.
This could have only been done,
Thought the complete surrender.
The abandonment of trying to do it on my own.
Always holding to this H O P E,
that one day I would be filled with peace.
That one day the scars would be healed.
and that day is finally here.
Thank you Jesus.
Because living,
especially living being held so passionately by Christ.
Having your heart, mind & soul
consumed by Jesus.
And allowing His redemptive compassion
to sweep through every cavern,
every scar that covers the surface
and deep hidden place of your heart.
Those scars that are heavy too carry.
For Him to whisper a freedom from them.
Thats why He is who He is.
Why He came to this dark place.
To bring a H O P E of healing.
A wholeness.
A safe place to pour out every foreign & familiar emotion.
Living in Jesus.
placing your H O P E in Him.
revitalizes you to get up each day.
To love those with every gifted breath.
and to live in a place of serving others.
Thats living.
My life is not what I envisioned it to be.
at 28.
Each holiday season I H O P E,
that next year I'll have a man to share it with.
That I still won't be the single one in the family,
or be celebrating it alone.
Yet, its been years.
and I still find myself empty in this department.
But its the continual H O P E
that I place within Jesus hands.
That keep filling me with anticipation for this season.
Because I know He is good.
I know He created us to be in relationship,
to share life with community.
And so I can't help but H O P E
That one year,
One Christmas.
I'll be sharing it with a man,
whom has placed that H O P E
in Jesus
the way I have over these many years.
That we will be celebrating the birth of our Savior.
Our wound healer.
Falling on our knees giving thanks.
For the most special gift.
For each other
and that Jesus desired this love.
So, as I pick up dog poop and sweep up glitter
and get ready to wait in the school pick up line.
I choose to fill my heart with H O P E
again this season.
Asking Jesus to fill my heart,
to not allow my soul to see the lack in my life.
But the goodness, joy & laughter around me.
To listen intently,
to His promises & words of love
to fill my heart that yearns greatly.
A thrill of H O P E.
Its what this season is about.
and I choose to keep H O P E I N G
that this season will come to an end
as a new one blossoms before me.
A thrill of H O P E
to keep me getting out of bed each morn.
seeing the twinkle of my Christmas tree.
reminding my heart.
Where would I be without Jesus.
Where would I be without healing.
Where would I be without redemption.
Where would I be without H O P E.
A thrill of H O P E.
What do you H O P E for this season?
Tell Jesus.
Surrender it to Jesus.
Hold it close to your precious heart
let it keep you taking that next step each day.
Cause He who promises is faithful.
With a heart anxiously awaiting
for the birth of my Jesus.
Emily Elizabeth
The weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angels' voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born.
A thrill of H O P E.
A thrill of putting one step in front of the other.
A thrill of dreaming.
A thrill of waking up each morn.
A thrill of new seasons.
A thrill of distant opportunities becoming present.
A thrill of loving who is in front of you.
A thrill of the present monotony.
God has a way of reminding you how far you have grown.
For me,
It came in a conversation.
That even a year ago.
Would have brought anger, bitterness, hurt & pain
back to the surface of seasons of my past.
Yet,
My heart was flooded with peace.
I am healed.
God has removed all the pain.
The memories that were good & bad.
That brought laughter and tears.
That chapter, those scars.
Have been redeemed.
This could have only been done,
Thought the complete surrender.
The abandonment of trying to do it on my own.
Always holding to this H O P E,
that one day I would be filled with peace.
That one day the scars would be healed.
and that day is finally here.
Thank you Jesus.
Because living,
especially living being held so passionately by Christ.
Having your heart, mind & soul
consumed by Jesus.
And allowing His redemptive compassion
to sweep through every cavern,
every scar that covers the surface
and deep hidden place of your heart.
Those scars that are heavy too carry.
For Him to whisper a freedom from them.
Thats why He is who He is.
Why He came to this dark place.
To bring a H O P E of healing.
A wholeness.
A safe place to pour out every foreign & familiar emotion.
Living in Jesus.
placing your H O P E in Him.
revitalizes you to get up each day.
To love those with every gifted breath.
and to live in a place of serving others.
Thats living.
My life is not what I envisioned it to be.
at 28.
Each holiday season I H O P E,
that next year I'll have a man to share it with.
That I still won't be the single one in the family,
or be celebrating it alone.
Yet, its been years.
and I still find myself empty in this department.
But its the continual H O P E
that I place within Jesus hands.
That keep filling me with anticipation for this season.
Because I know He is good.
I know He created us to be in relationship,
to share life with community.
And so I can't help but H O P E
That one year,
One Christmas.
I'll be sharing it with a man,
whom has placed that H O P E
in Jesus
the way I have over these many years.
That we will be celebrating the birth of our Savior.
Our wound healer.
Falling on our knees giving thanks.
For the most special gift.
For each other
and that Jesus desired this love.
So, as I pick up dog poop and sweep up glitter
and get ready to wait in the school pick up line.
I choose to fill my heart with H O P E
again this season.
Asking Jesus to fill my heart,
to not allow my soul to see the lack in my life.
But the goodness, joy & laughter around me.
To listen intently,
to His promises & words of love
to fill my heart that yearns greatly.
A thrill of H O P E.
Its what this season is about.
and I choose to keep H O P E I N G
that this season will come to an end
as a new one blossoms before me.
A thrill of H O P E
to keep me getting out of bed each morn.
seeing the twinkle of my Christmas tree.
reminding my heart.
Where would I be without Jesus.
Where would I be without healing.
Where would I be without redemption.
Where would I be without H O P E.
A thrill of H O P E.
What do you H O P E for this season?
Tell Jesus.
Surrender it to Jesus.
Hold it close to your precious heart
let it keep you taking that next step each day.
Cause He who promises is faithful.
With a heart anxiously awaiting
for the birth of my Jesus.
Emily Elizabeth
Sunday, November 4, 2018
Whats your just?
I am just a nanny.
I am just a barista.
I am just a stay at home mom.
I am just a teacher.
I am just...
I am just...
I am just...
fill in the blank.
What are you just?
This has been challenging me lately.
It's like God is trying to reveal more of who I am.
Unscrew the parts of my heart.
that label me as
Just
something.
Is that all we are in this world?
In this life?
We are just something?
In each season we are expressed as something.
Someone.
a vessel.
a piece of wood being chiseled intricately .
clay being meticulously molded.
a painting experiencing its last few strokes.
we are not just a just.
because we were not created by just a Just person.
We are a daughter.
We are a son.
We were created in the image of Jesus.
A Holy, perfect, compassionate Savior.
Who not just walked this earth.
But died for our sins and shame.
Just so we can experience intimate relationship,
With our creator.
Just so we can journey through sanctification,
And feel Gods breath in our lungs.
Just so our purpose in this world doesn't feel like a lost one,
But one filled with strength to put one step in front of the other.
To love that one.
That HE just puts in front of our eyes.
I am not JUST a nanny.
As that is where I find myself in this season.
with that title.
But I am a nanny who love these 4 sweet souls fiercely.
Their taxi driver.
Who takes all responsibility for their safety.
A chef feeding their bodies.
with tasty nutritious food.
Their prayer warrior.
A mentor to help guide them to right and wrong.
I am Someone they can trust.
Especially when I am buying them underwear.
I feel like its an automatic.
This seasons title may define me as JUST a nanny.
But I have come to walk more confidently in my identity
as a warrior daughter of Christ.
And right now that looks like being a vessel.
in whatever way.
however.
bursting my dream bubbles.
that bring me to reality of right here and now.
As long as He is using me to love.
To reveal His heart.
And to speak truth.
then have your way Jesus, please.
This reality hit me hard.
realizing belittling is a huge part of life,
my life.
bringing myself down to a "just" level.
because this isn't what I envisioned my life
especially at 28.
and after going to midwifery school.
but God always has a way of making me laugh.
doing the thing that is probably one of the hardest jobs.
that I said I wouldn't be doing again.
not only cause I so desperately want my own kids.
but because taking care of kids.
is flat out exhausting.
but so rewarding.
fulfilling.
when you see that tiny glimmer
that you may just be making a difference.
in their life.
seeing the fruit.
of all the countless hours behind the steering wheel,
waiting in the school pick up line or dropping off at practice.
the meals that are either consumed by their mouths or the trashcan,
after spending hours creating a menu.
the clothes washed, folded and put away.
just to find them on the floor the next day,
yet never seeing them actually worn.
Mothers.
YOU ARE AMAZING.
and that goes to all those women out there
who take care of other kids.
that are not their own.
because it really does take a village.
To be a vessel,
to children & teenagers.
helping define character in them.
and reveal Christ's love to their hearts.
that are being filled each day with so much from this world.
NEVER use the word "just" before a title again.
Walking confidently,
in faith.
hope,
surrender.
to Gods journey for you life.
for my life.
its scary.
but your not walking it alone.
and reminding yourself that.
reminding yourself who you are.
whose image your defined by.
and being refined by.
just so you can take that next step.
cause it is filled with purpose.
Because He who promises is Faithful.
so next time someone asks you what you do.
DO NOT put a "just" before it.
because you have purpose in every season.
even if its not where you imagined yourself.
there is still a reason your there.
there is growth, refinement, healing that is desired.
By our Creator.
because it is revealing more of His heart for His children.
and we should never fear the storms.
they always produce something fabulous in us and through us.
walk confidently in your calling.
and the way it is expressed in each season.
even if its not what you envisioned.
cause it will always be greater.
as God is pulling you closer to His heart.
Let me speak these words over you.
So you will begin to speak them over yourself.
tuck them into your heart.
believe them.
and hear your Father whisper them to you.
You are loved.
You are desired.
You are valued.
You are worthy.
You are cherished.
You are chosen.
You are whole.
You are pure.
You are new.
You are beautiful.
You are delighted in.
You are strong.
You are powerful.
You are radiant.
You are peace-filled.
You are more than "just" you.
Walk in that confidence.
That your created for greater purpose then you will ever imagine.
Your not "just"
YOU ARE.
In Christ's Love
Emily Elizabeth.
I am just a barista.
I am just a stay at home mom.
I am just a teacher.
I am just...
I am just...
I am just...
fill in the blank.
What are you just?
This has been challenging me lately.
It's like God is trying to reveal more of who I am.
Unscrew the parts of my heart.
that label me as
Just
something.
Is that all we are in this world?
In this life?
We are just something?
In each season we are expressed as something.
Someone.
a vessel.
a piece of wood being chiseled intricately .
clay being meticulously molded.
a painting experiencing its last few strokes.
we are not just a just.
because we were not created by just a Just person.
We are a daughter.
We are a son.
We were created in the image of Jesus.
A Holy, perfect, compassionate Savior.
Who not just walked this earth.
But died for our sins and shame.
Just so we can experience intimate relationship,
With our creator.
Just so we can journey through sanctification,
And feel Gods breath in our lungs.
Just so our purpose in this world doesn't feel like a lost one,
But one filled with strength to put one step in front of the other.
To love that one.
That HE just puts in front of our eyes.
I am not JUST a nanny.
As that is where I find myself in this season.
with that title.
But I am a nanny who love these 4 sweet souls fiercely.
Their taxi driver.
Who takes all responsibility for their safety.
A chef feeding their bodies.
with tasty nutritious food.
Their prayer warrior.
A mentor to help guide them to right and wrong.
I am Someone they can trust.
Especially when I am buying them underwear.
I feel like its an automatic.
This seasons title may define me as JUST a nanny.
But I have come to walk more confidently in my identity
as a warrior daughter of Christ.
And right now that looks like being a vessel.
in whatever way.
however.
bursting my dream bubbles.
that bring me to reality of right here and now.
As long as He is using me to love.
To reveal His heart.
And to speak truth.
then have your way Jesus, please.
This reality hit me hard.
realizing belittling is a huge part of life,
my life.
bringing myself down to a "just" level.
because this isn't what I envisioned my life
especially at 28.
and after going to midwifery school.
but God always has a way of making me laugh.
doing the thing that is probably one of the hardest jobs.
that I said I wouldn't be doing again.
not only cause I so desperately want my own kids.
but because taking care of kids.
is flat out exhausting.
but so rewarding.
fulfilling.
when you see that tiny glimmer
that you may just be making a difference.
in their life.
seeing the fruit.
of all the countless hours behind the steering wheel,
waiting in the school pick up line or dropping off at practice.
the meals that are either consumed by their mouths or the trashcan,
after spending hours creating a menu.
the clothes washed, folded and put away.
just to find them on the floor the next day,
yet never seeing them actually worn.
Mothers.
YOU ARE AMAZING.
and that goes to all those women out there
who take care of other kids.
that are not their own.
because it really does take a village.
To be a vessel,
to children & teenagers.
helping define character in them.
and reveal Christ's love to their hearts.
that are being filled each day with so much from this world.
NEVER use the word "just" before a title again.
Walking confidently,
in faith.
hope,
surrender.
to Gods journey for you life.
for my life.
its scary.
but your not walking it alone.
and reminding yourself that.
reminding yourself who you are.
whose image your defined by.
and being refined by.
just so you can take that next step.
cause it is filled with purpose.
Because He who promises is Faithful.
so next time someone asks you what you do.
DO NOT put a "just" before it.
because you have purpose in every season.
even if its not where you imagined yourself.
there is still a reason your there.
there is growth, refinement, healing that is desired.
By our Creator.
because it is revealing more of His heart for His children.
and we should never fear the storms.
they always produce something fabulous in us and through us.
walk confidently in your calling.
and the way it is expressed in each season.
even if its not what you envisioned.
cause it will always be greater.
as God is pulling you closer to His heart.
Let me speak these words over you.
So you will begin to speak them over yourself.
tuck them into your heart.
believe them.
and hear your Father whisper them to you.
You are loved.
You are desired.
You are valued.
You are worthy.
You are cherished.
You are chosen.
You are whole.
You are pure.
You are new.
You are beautiful.
You are delighted in.
You are strong.
You are powerful.
You are radiant.
You are peace-filled.
You are more than "just" you.
Walk in that confidence.
That your created for greater purpose then you will ever imagine.
Your not "just"
YOU ARE.
In Christ's Love
Emily Elizabeth.
Thursday, April 26, 2018
unwanted vs pursued.
this whole expectation that we, women, our lives don't start until we get married.
that the goal in life,
the race.
is to the alter.
to find "the one" and live a happily life ever after.
that our happiness, joy and contentment will only be achieved after we
"meet our prince"
our purpose.
that we will only be fulfilled until that moment we say "i do"
Its been sitting in the crevices of my heart.
that were created from past hurt.
past relationships that were unhealthy.
the only relationships I have ever had with men. unhealthy.
those statements that society.
better yet, the Church, have breathed into those places.
and has caused so much rot in my heart.
those lies have become hard to separate from the truth.
From the truth that God did not create me.
OR ANY WOMAN.
just to become a wife and mother.
Not saying that its bad if that is the season you find yourself in.
but more importantly.
That we have purpose.
KINGDOM PURPOSE.
yes, my heart so so so desires to be married and have lots of babies.
but I am learning to not place all my worth and identity in those titles.
Wife & Mother.
But I am retraining my mind to put my worth in my true identity.
Daughter of God.
That I am first to love Him.
and second, His children, my brothers and sister in Christ.
Again, YES oh my goodness yes I cant wait to get married.
I cant wait to experience pregnancy and birth and motherhood.
Because that is the world God has called me to serve in.
and HOLY HELL its flipping hard to always be surrounded by it.
and not have it for myself.
my eyes well up with tears almost everyday, sometimes multiple times.
when I see precious little hearts, and think about the day when I am holding my own.
how my heart rips at the thought of loving my own babes so fiercely.
To tell women I am single,
and I get that pitty vibe with the,
"oh your husband he is out there, you will find him when your not looking."
okay thank you.
but please, if I hear that one more time...
that DOESN'T HELP.
cause lets be honest.
when are you ever NOT looking for a husband, single ladies?
its every man you see and the question pops into your mind.
oh maybe he is the one?
I have learned that I have instantly linked not being pursued by a man,
to not being wanted.
I met a nice guy,
an amazing guy with such great qualities.
and most importantly,
His tangible love & pursuit for Gods heart.
which, my "list" has evolved over the years.
and gotten very very short...
to maybe two must haves.
1. He must be in a passionate, overwhelming & reckless relationship with God.
2. Desire to have a handful of children, biologic & adopted.
That is pretty much what my heart craves in a man.
I mean of course I would love him to lift weights with me && adventure around this world with me.
But my heart craves the intimacy with a man who craves intimacy with our Creator first.
So yeah,
say I have come across a few in my lifetime.
which hmm a few.
I really, honestly mean a few.
(may I remind you that I have been single for 9 years, which feels like eternity but have experienced such beauty in those 9 years)
And as women, of course our hearts yearn for a wild pursuit from a man.
Its what we have been taught, deemed "right" and the way we were created to find relationship.
okay, I am having the hardest time with this.
Because its 2018, things have changed. MEN have changed.
WE have changed. The way things are done, its not the old fashioned way anymore.
Women, we have put such unrealistic expectations on men that there is no way they will ever be able to be/do.
I believe this is why men are not putting themselves out there,
because of the rejection they will get before they cross the starting line.
It hurts to be not wanted... ahem I know this feeling all to well.
So since I have never been pursued by a man.
In a healthy, God desired way.
I feel unwanted.
Undesired.
I start believing lies that I am not enough for a man.
Especially a Christian man.
That there surely must me something wrong with me that God still needs to fix.
There is more growth & maturation that needs to be cultivated in my heart.
Before I meet my future husband.
okay. BS.
Yeah, no, this thinking is not okay.
Cause who can honestly put their hands up in the air and say they were exactly the person they wanted to be when they said their "i do's" at the alter.
GOD IS ALWAYS MOLDING US.
He is always growing, refining, pruning && healing us.
THIS NEVER STOPS.
so why do I keep telling myself,
"oh there must be something else God desires to do in me before I am ready to be in a relationship"
I am pretty sure I have done a whole heck of a lot over the last 9 years.
Healing is hard. and exhausting.
Doing what God wants is not always the easiest or most glamorous.
But putting my wants and desires to be a wife and mom on the back burner.
For pursuing Kingdom work.
That is life giving & filled with so much joy.
Because essentially that is the reason we were created.
To represent God's kindness & love.
To help bridge that gap of Heaven & earth.
God didn't create me to only get married.
But to represent His heart to His lost sheep.
Cause I was one at a point in my life.
GOD pursued me when I felt worthless.
He chased me down when I was walking on a narrow, deathly path.
The Light of the world illuminated my heart when I was in an inescapable darkness.
Please Jesus, remind me of this everyday when I am feeling unwanted.
Women, all you single women.
Let me bring up a question.
Why do we have to sit around and... wait... for a man to approach us?
Why has this world, more specifically, the Church
put this expectation that its a mans job only.
Yeah well I am pretty sure that if there is a person I desire to get to know,
a relationship I think would be influential in my life.
That I am fully capable,
to pursue that.
Why can't we pursue healthy conversations?
Why can't we uncover the reality that men want to be pursued just as much as women do?
can I give us permission to do that?
cause I sure as hell would like to & not feel ashamed that I want to be the one who plans coffee dates just because my heart so deeply desires to connect in a healthy, God honoring way in the form of a conversation with a man.
This whole "perfect picture"
that the dating world has sketched,
I so so so badly want to erase some lines and put in my own.
call me selfish or stubborn.
But I am an independent, strong & confident woman because of God.
So if I am to do this, I have God in my corner.
and I believe that my man will not be intimidated by a woman who stands firm in this understanding
of who she is and nothing will change this heart of pursuing Gods calling on my life.
I am comfortable being single.
Because I am able to pour out my heart into what God has put before me.
But that doesn't mean I don't cry on the daily over the thought of never getting married.
or why the heck I don't get asked out on dates.
Since I have had so many people tell me.
"oh I can't believe a guy hasn't snatched you up yet"
believe me, I ask the same thing.
Or that I need to look this way or do this thing.
did I say something wrong?
Do I need to pretend I am someone I am not just to catch his eye.
After 27 years, I can confidently say that I love who Jesus has created me to be.
I love the way He has been molding and forming my heart,
to be the woman He wrote in His book.
Whom He thought up in my mothers womb.
Without influence of this fallen world.
I love the joy that flows from my heart.
The desire to serve.
To bless & encourage those around me.
My craving for healthy, yummy colorful food to nourish my body.
That I am not scared to have muscle, and lift more then a man.
I love my butt & legs.
I cherish my thick long hair, even though I do nothing fancy with it.
I love how awkward I am sometimes.
It makes me feel good to laugh at myself knowing I am nowhere near perfect.
and I will never be nor want to be.
I love the way God has allowed me to experience life overseas.
How He has chiseled my heart, fine tuning its calling in this world.
Maybe we need to stop thinking of everything we are not.
those things that WE THINK make us undesirable, unwanted or un-pursuable.
and wake up every morning.
Giving God thanks and praises for who He has made us to be.
and who is is continuing to make us into.
Loving ourselves wholeheartedly.
breaking the chains of lies & expectations that are suffocating our heart.
Finding the joy in that, the joy in us.
Reminding us this life is one short adventure & there is so much out there for us.
All I know is I am going to do this.
I want to form this habit.
So when I do have my baby girl (Lord desired)
I can instill this value in her.
She can witness it tangibly.
Cause I do not want her to experience and go through all this that I have/am.
I want her to know, without a doubt.
Where her identity is found.
In God.
Who cherishes her, desires her and pursues her more than anyone.
Her Heavenly Father.
I guess I could say lots more.
and most likely I will in the coming weeks.
but the whole thing that spurred these emotions.
Is yes, I did meet a man who is so wonderful & in love with Jesus.
it was just one time,but it was oh so refreshing.
and maybe he will read this.
most likely he wont.
But even if he does.
I am grateful for the conversation that was held over that picnic table.
devouring brisket.
cause it did something in my heart.
It allowed me to wonder down this road that is so broken in my life.
showing me that I am wanted.
Cause God wanted that moment for me to experience.
Reminding me that there are amazing men out there.
In the same boat that I am floating in.
DATING SUCKS.
But reminding myself.
That just because he hasn't gave me any inclination that I will ever see him again.
its okay to be hurt, cry a bit over the fool I may or may not have made myself out to be.
That I am human, a woman and my desires to be loved, married & pursued very real.
But that its not my identity.
That just because he hasn't saught future conversation with me.
it doesn't mean I am unwanted or unworthy of being pursued.
(he is just missing out, lets be honest)
It means that God is good, so good to me.
to let my heart have that moment.
To feel His love gently sweep through the deep caverns of my heart.
reminding me of his provisions over my life & how He has guarded me over the years.
even though it kinda wrecked me, made me angry.
cause I was just fine.
But it reignited this desire to pursue healthy conversation.
and reminded me of how much I have grown since I was that stupid girl running around with that stupid boy in high school .
To change the way my mind is telling me to just sit and wait until prince charming knocks on my door.
Sorry but I am not that woman.
I love a good pursuit.
I love getting to know people, pouring my heart into people, being a person someone trusts to be raw with.
So anywho.
To all you single ladies craving the spooning that we all do.
Its okay to yearn.
Its okay to be pursued.
but its also okay to pursue.
Its okay to desire a husband.
but break off the lie that our lives are going to be perfect after the alter.
that is not the climax of our story.
nor should it ever be.
lets run towards the truth of our identity.
your wanted.
and definitely loved.
flaws and all.
Its okay to grieve over a broken heart.
Its totally fine to be angry with God when yet another friend gets engaged.
Singleness is not a burden.
its the ability to love people in the place they find themselves in.
Its the abandonment of expectations.
To pour ourselves into building the Kingdom.
In whatever way God has called you to do.
Our lives are to be filled with joy always.
not just when we are married we will find it.
See it in yourself, your environment & those you live in community with.
maybe to be continued....
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
heaviness.
break my heart for what breaks yours Lord.
This.
This plea.
This longing to feel a smidge of what He feels.
Is powerful. Overwhelming. Weighty.
Its a blessing.
But also a place of foreign comfort.
God has been teaching me these past few months how He is burdened by this world.
I feel it.
Pain. Anger. Sorrow. Confusion. Sadness. Striving. Burdened. Rejection. Misunderstanding.
Its heavy.
My heart so overwhelmed with all these emotions.
Its been hard for me to walk in joy.
Because they are weighing me down.
Making my footsteps slow and heavy.
This season I find myself in has been difficult in a good way.
which sounds ironic.
But it has drawn me closer to the heart of Jesus.
To be able to see a deeper reason of why He chose to come to this earth.
To endure rejection & persecution.
So that we don't have to walk with the weight of our sins daily.
That He will take them.
and make them light.
Replace them with JOY.
I am learning to lay all this before the Lord.
To connect with those around me going through difficulties.
Be a place of peace, trust & vulnerability.
Which my heart so desires this to those I am in relationship with.
But letting it go, allowing God to carry it with me.
Is something I am learning daily.
That its not my burden to be held on my shoulders.
This world is so broken.
In need of immense healing.
That can only be done by God, Jesus & Holy Spirit.
What power our trinity holds.
I am grateful for this season.
For feeling, processing & walking instep with God in healing.
My heart feels.
But my heart is also learning to love deeper.
When those I love find themselves in dark places.
That God is using me.
Speaking through me.
Something I have always desired.
Someone I have always desired to be.
Find that one person in your life.
To be open and vulnerable with.
To trust with those emotions you do not know what to do with.
That you need to reveal to begin processing.
But know that only God is our one true counselor.
The only healer.
The only One that can truly remove our burdens && pain.
How anxious my heart is for that day there will be no more pain.
In Christ's Love
Emily Elizabeth
This.
This plea.
This longing to feel a smidge of what He feels.
Is powerful. Overwhelming. Weighty.
Its a blessing.
But also a place of foreign comfort.
God has been teaching me these past few months how He is burdened by this world.
I feel it.
Pain. Anger. Sorrow. Confusion. Sadness. Striving. Burdened. Rejection. Misunderstanding.
Its heavy.
My heart so overwhelmed with all these emotions.
Its been hard for me to walk in joy.
Because they are weighing me down.
Making my footsteps slow and heavy.
This season I find myself in has been difficult in a good way.which sounds ironic.
But it has drawn me closer to the heart of Jesus.
To be able to see a deeper reason of why He chose to come to this earth.
To endure rejection & persecution.
So that we don't have to walk with the weight of our sins daily.
That He will take them.
and make them light.
Replace them with JOY.
I am learning to lay all this before the Lord.
To connect with those around me going through difficulties.
Be a place of peace, trust & vulnerability.
Which my heart so desires this to those I am in relationship with.
But letting it go, allowing God to carry it with me.
Is something I am learning daily.
That its not my burden to be held on my shoulders.
This world is so broken.
In need of immense healing.
That can only be done by God, Jesus & Holy Spirit.
What power our trinity holds.
I am grateful for this season.
For feeling, processing & walking instep with God in healing.
My heart feels.
But my heart is also learning to love deeper.
When those I love find themselves in dark places.
That God is using me.
Speaking through me.
Something I have always desired.
Someone I have always desired to be.
Find that one person in your life.
To be open and vulnerable with.
To trust with those emotions you do not know what to do with.
That you need to reveal to begin processing.
But know that only God is our one true counselor.
The only healer.
The only One that can truly remove our burdens && pain.
How anxious my heart is for that day there will be no more pain.
In Christ's Love
Emily Elizabeth
Monday, March 5, 2018
Sovereign over us.
There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You're sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You're teaching us to trust
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You're sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You're teaching us to trust
Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
You're faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
You are wisdom unimagined
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless graceYou're the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless graceYou're the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You're working for our good
You're working for our good and for Your glory
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You're working for our good
You're working for our good and for Your glory
What a encouraging week this has been.
God is so good, so faithful.
Seeing all the desires of my heart that have been tucked under a mat,
not reality,
so distant.
I feel are coming to fruit.
Through all the waiting.
The surrendering.
He is truly in the waiting.
I am so eager to see how He uses me as a vessel in this new city.
The doors He is going to open.
Those He desires for me to love, serve and support.
How He will use my skills,
refine them,
and build upon them.
Cant wait to share with you all He reveals to me.
For you to come along on this journey with me.
As you have been in every journey over the last 6 years.
In all the countries I have called home.
Keep seeking Gods purpose in your life in this season.
He will reveal it to your heart.
Be willing to lay everything down.
To give Him all your faith.
Cause He who promised is faithful.
And He will bring fruit to the works of your hands.
and the footprint of your feet.
In Christ's Love
Emily Elizabeth
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
beaten down pt 2.
Cause I don't feel like I got everything out.
there are still words.
phrases.
unmet emotions in my heart.
I have felt that these last weeks.
I have been listening to those who have been hurt.
abused.
taken advantage of.
belittled.
We do not need this in the world.
there is already so much crap going on.
with bullying. putting others down. negativity.
oh lawd.
we do not need anymore negativity in this world today.
We are told to lift each other up.
support.
uphold.
call each other higher.
pour into.
validate.
listen with open ears & heart.
breathe courage into.
meet together in the same place.
be honest.
non-judgmental.
love.
are you doing this?
are you being this to those you live in community with?
to those God is putting before you.
i think. that once you have gone through this type of persecution.
and maybe it has taken you going through it multiple times.
to realize truth. identity.
to learn to seek the way that our Father see's you.
and once you have a clear vision and understanding.
it overtakes you and you can't help but pour out into others.
through love, positivity and optimism.
coming out from under the rock of oppression is always excruciating.
finding people of peace.
to be vulnerable and open with is important.
to help you escape the heaviness.
and who will breathe truth into those scars.
but I know within that we have been hurt.
its hard.
If this is you, your finding yourself in a season of being beaten down by someone around you.
I am here for you.
If not me, search for someone who is trustworthy.
Who has a deep relationship with the Lord.
to feed you truth.
to open up the Word with.
to find wisdom and healing.
Through Jesus Christ.
I am more than willing to walk with you through this hurt and pain.
Cause I know it took me a good while.
and I still find bits of pain to heal from.
but I want to love you through this.
and I want you to know your not alone.
That you are so worthy and valued.
That you are not a mistake.
that God created you exactly how you are.
Your not a mistake.
He knows what He is doing always.
Your not a mistake.
not a burden.
not a nuisance.
You are a gem.
and I want to help you see that.
Cause I can tell you.
Once i realized how precious I am to Jesus.
no one else opinions mattered.
Yes of course I still struggle daily.
but we are human.
But with Jesus, reading the Word & His truth.
It helps my heart and mind transform.
into viewing myself the way He does.
That people do not and will not ever know me better then my Father does.
No one can tell me who to be.
what to do.
Because they did not create me.
They are human too.
So if you find yourself in this situation,
of being beaten down and not valued but those place in authority over you.
If you are still dealing with the scars.
searching for who you are and why your here.
for truth, value && purpose.
Message me. Lets chat. I want to be a place of peace, truth & vulnerability.
To walk with you through this.
we can help each other.
even if it is just promising to pray with you daily for healing.
for God to reveal himself & His purpose for your life.
I am here.
In Christ's Love.
Emily Elizabeth
there are still words.
phrases.
unmet emotions in my heart.
I have felt that these last weeks.
I have been listening to those who have been hurt.
abused.
taken advantage of.
belittled.
We do not need this in the world.
there is already so much crap going on.
with bullying. putting others down. negativity.
oh lawd.
we do not need anymore negativity in this world today.
We are told to lift each other up.
support.
uphold.
call each other higher.
pour into.
validate.
listen with open ears & heart.
breathe courage into.
meet together in the same place.
be honest.
non-judgmental.
love.
are you doing this?
are you being this to those you live in community with?
to those God is putting before you.
i think. that once you have gone through this type of persecution.
and maybe it has taken you going through it multiple times.
to realize truth. identity.
to learn to seek the way that our Father see's you.
and once you have a clear vision and understanding.
it overtakes you and you can't help but pour out into others.
through love, positivity and optimism.
coming out from under the rock of oppression is always excruciating.
finding people of peace.
to be vulnerable and open with is important.
to help you escape the heaviness.
and who will breathe truth into those scars.
but I know within that we have been hurt.
its hard.
If this is you, your finding yourself in a season of being beaten down by someone around you.
I am here for you.
If not me, search for someone who is trustworthy.
Who has a deep relationship with the Lord.
to feed you truth.
to open up the Word with.
to find wisdom and healing.
Through Jesus Christ.
I am more than willing to walk with you through this hurt and pain.
Cause I know it took me a good while.
and I still find bits of pain to heal from.
but I want to love you through this.
and I want you to know your not alone.
That you are so worthy and valued.
That you are not a mistake.
that God created you exactly how you are.
Your not a mistake.
He knows what He is doing always.
Your not a mistake.
not a burden.
not a nuisance.
You are a gem.
and I want to help you see that.
Cause I can tell you.
Once i realized how precious I am to Jesus.
no one else opinions mattered.
Yes of course I still struggle daily.
but we are human.
But with Jesus, reading the Word & His truth.
It helps my heart and mind transform.
into viewing myself the way He does.
That people do not and will not ever know me better then my Father does.
No one can tell me who to be.
what to do.
Because they did not create me.
They are human too.
So if you find yourself in this situation,
of being beaten down and not valued but those place in authority over you.
If you are still dealing with the scars.
searching for who you are and why your here.
for truth, value && purpose.
Message me. Lets chat. I want to be a place of peace, truth & vulnerability.
To walk with you through this.
we can help each other.
even if it is just promising to pray with you daily for healing.
for God to reveal himself & His purpose for your life.
I am here.
In Christ's Love.
Emily Elizabeth
Sunday, January 14, 2018
Beaten Down.
Healing.
its exhausting.
it is one of those things I feel like is never ending.
always reviving past memories, emotions, hurt, anger, pain.
5 years.
experiencing the hurt my heart has endured.
from being torn down.
being examined.
by those placed in authority over me.
determining that who I am is not good enough.
the woman God has created me to be.
does not fit their "environment"
their ministry.
their "way of life"
Satan has a way of feeding lies.
in places you would least expect.
using people who you should trust.
seek wise counsel from.
&& who you can be vulnerable without judgement
Yet those handful of people who have been placed in my life in that way.
Broke me the most.
Made me feel devalued.
not good enough.
a flawed woman, christian, midwife.
human being.
That my individuality was not welcomed.
the gifts God has given me not valued.
The encouragement to pursue Christ, missing.
Maybe it was because I was too independent.
I had God given direction.
I experienced a lot of life on my own already.
Lived in foreign countries.
3rd world countries.
Have a vibrancy && joy for life.
Following God to the beat of His drum.
Apparently threatened that I am strong in several ways.
I have tattoos and piercings.
and God-forbid, a womans body.
Cutting away through the lies and over-growth.
has been challenging and taken time.
its courage & the knowing of what unknown will be brought up.
why do we let these lies seep into our hearts and take root?
even when we know they are not truth?
I am a stronger woman today.
My faith is rooted deeper in Christ and His truths.
I have learned to run to The Word.
To comfort my heart and let it be flooded with acceptance.
My identity to be formed daily by the Words of Jesus.
He is my defender.
So if anyone has experienced this in the world,
which I am sure all of us have.
Run to Jesus.
Find truth in His Word.
Let Him reveal to your heart your value and worth.
And know that we can only ever trust in Him.
Cause He is perfect, true, righteous, loving, holy && so much more.
I am sorry that you have been hurt by other Christians who have been put in authority over you.
We are all in our own seasons and don't know what one another is going through.
But that doesn't give them right to break you down, make you feel so small and so insignificant.
Jesus came to teach us to love one another.
And I believe we are failing miserably at that in so many ways.
We as a Body of Christ should be lifting each other up.
no matter what background, ethnicity, culture, language, birth place, family or struggles we have been through.
One thing I have learned through this all,
If God desires for me to have a ministry one day, which I hope He does,
Is how to not treat those who come to volunteer, work and pour into those we are ministering to,
more importantly, how to live in healthy community,
and how to NOT treat someone.
Lets Encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ to keep going.
Even more, those who don't know Jesus,
Cause that is where they will see a difference in us and that seed will be planted.
That there will always be good days and bad days.
But in the end.
We are told to.
"Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who love another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "you shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet," and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to a neighbor, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law." Romans 13:8-10
So if you are loving genuinely and wholeheartedly those around you, your doing something right. Something that give glory to God and makes his heart full. If you have endured judgement and not love. Trust me, let it go and know that its not right and true. God will heal and bring good to it all. It may take time but He fulfills His promises to us. And living in forgiveness is so much easier then holding anger towards someone. There is an end to the storm, Jesus is holding your hand, and there will be vibrant growth that comes from this modern day persecution.
And if your being a bully. Just stop it please. We don't need anymore in this world.
its exhausting.
it is one of those things I feel like is never ending.
always reviving past memories, emotions, hurt, anger, pain.
5 years.
experiencing the hurt my heart has endured.
from being torn down.
being examined.
by those placed in authority over me.
determining that who I am is not good enough.
the woman God has created me to be.
does not fit their "environment"
their ministry.
their "way of life"
Satan has a way of feeding lies.
in places you would least expect.
using people who you should trust.
seek wise counsel from.
&& who you can be vulnerable without judgement
Yet those handful of people who have been placed in my life in that way.
Broke me the most.
Made me feel devalued.
not good enough.
a flawed woman, christian, midwife.
human being.
That my individuality was not welcomed.
the gifts God has given me not valued.
The encouragement to pursue Christ, missing.
Maybe it was because I was too independent.
I had God given direction.
I experienced a lot of life on my own already.
Lived in foreign countries.
3rd world countries.
Have a vibrancy && joy for life.
Following God to the beat of His drum.
Apparently threatened that I am strong in several ways.
I have tattoos and piercings.
and God-forbid, a womans body.
Cutting away through the lies and over-growth.
has been challenging and taken time.
its courage & the knowing of what unknown will be brought up.
why do we let these lies seep into our hearts and take root?
even when we know they are not truth?
I am a stronger woman today.
My faith is rooted deeper in Christ and His truths.
I have learned to run to The Word.
To comfort my heart and let it be flooded with acceptance.
My identity to be formed daily by the Words of Jesus.
He is my defender.
So if anyone has experienced this in the world,
which I am sure all of us have.
Run to Jesus.
Find truth in His Word.
Let Him reveal to your heart your value and worth.
And know that we can only ever trust in Him.
Cause He is perfect, true, righteous, loving, holy && so much more.
I am sorry that you have been hurt by other Christians who have been put in authority over you.
We are all in our own seasons and don't know what one another is going through.
But that doesn't give them right to break you down, make you feel so small and so insignificant.
Jesus came to teach us to love one another.
And I believe we are failing miserably at that in so many ways.
We as a Body of Christ should be lifting each other up.
no matter what background, ethnicity, culture, language, birth place, family or struggles we have been through.
One thing I have learned through this all,
If God desires for me to have a ministry one day, which I hope He does,
Is how to not treat those who come to volunteer, work and pour into those we are ministering to,
more importantly, how to live in healthy community,
and how to NOT treat someone.
Lets Encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ to keep going.
Even more, those who don't know Jesus,
Cause that is where they will see a difference in us and that seed will be planted.
That there will always be good days and bad days.
But in the end.
We are told to.
"Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who love another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "you shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet," and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to a neighbor, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law." Romans 13:8-10
So if you are loving genuinely and wholeheartedly those around you, your doing something right. Something that give glory to God and makes his heart full. If you have endured judgement and not love. Trust me, let it go and know that its not right and true. God will heal and bring good to it all. It may take time but He fulfills His promises to us. And living in forgiveness is so much easier then holding anger towards someone. There is an end to the storm, Jesus is holding your hand, and there will be vibrant growth that comes from this modern day persecution.
And if your being a bully. Just stop it please. We don't need anymore in this world.
Monday, January 1, 2018
A manger.
Now at this time Mary arose and went in a hurry to the hill country, to a city of Judah, and entered the house of Zacharias and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. And she cried out with a loud voice and said, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 'And how has it happened to me, that the mother of my Lord would come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby leaped in my womb for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord." Luke 1:39-45 |
| My very first "catch" and a birth that took multiple hands, sweat && words of encouragement. |
Mary.
Favored.
An unwed virgin.
Her heart pursued by the Perfect.
Blessed.
" And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord."
How powerful this verse is.
How it can be true to us all in seasons & promises of our lives.
Jesus, your promises are so beautiful to see fulfilled.
God fulfilled a promise He made to me on August 7, 2013.
"But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good new of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the City of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Luke 2 : 10-12I found a new babe, in a tin shack in the slum of Port-au-Prince.
This boy.
Named Isaiah.
Became my sign that my life had greater meaning and calling.
God had His own desire that I would never imagine for myself.
 |
| The families I got be be apart of, this one in particular. So grateful to have walked this season with them & welcome their son into this world. |
{{ A Midwife. }}
over 200 first breaths I was beautifully allowed to witness.
I can officially say that I am a Certified Professional Midwife.
Graduate with an Associates of Science in Midwifery degree.
no longer a student.
One that is taking me to a different state.
Always bittersweet.
 |
| My very last "catch" as a student midwife. and what a redeeming empowered birth this was. (6 week postpartum pictured ^^) |
God is pointing me north, towards family & new opportunities in Kansas City.
Thank you does not even start to describe the gratitude I have to everyone who prayed, supported, spoke words of encouragement & loved me over these years. Without God using you in all the ways He did, I feel like I would not be where I find myself today. So I pray for blessings beyond magnitude for you in all you have poured out to me.
My Family, you know my heart & how much I love each and everyone of you. For all your prayers and always believing in me. I am so grateful to have celebrated this achievement with you and for loving me through the mountains and valleys.
A thank you from the innermost part of my heart to all of my teachers, supervisors and preceptors who have poured into me over the last 3 years. The skills you helped pull out of me, the words you instilled in me as a midwife, the long days & nights spent together with a laboring mother. You were some of my biggest cheerleaders and without you and your commitment to seeing me through this journey is something I could never speak the right words of thanks towards. My Filipino Ate's & Texas sisters. Your hearts are beautiful and the works of your hands blessed. Thank you for loving in such an intimate way in the most intimate time of a woman's life and for allowing me to witness it.
This is something I never believed in myself, that I would go back to school and graduate with a degree. Like Mary, I questioned why God would choose me. But now that isn't even a question. I now ask where God is going to take me with these skills and I ask Him to use me in every way possible to bring His kingdom here on earth and to be His love to all those I serve.
Praying for a year of noticeable change, growth and laughter. That God will open new doors that produce vibrant fruit & radiant joy.
Joyous New Years.
In Christ's Love
Emily Elizabeth.
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