Perfect Love Drowns Fear.

I have never seen fear rise up in me in such an apparent way. 
To let it consume me. 
Devour my confidence. 
Control my every move.

Fear is not of God. 
There is no where in the Bible that says that God has a spirit of fear.

He tells us to fear Him. 
" and remember that the Heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of Him during your time a "foreigners in the land."" 1 Peter 1:17

I have always had fear of my future. 
Will I ever meet my husband and get married.
Will I be able to pay my bills.
Will I ever be a mom, one of the things that my heart desires the most. 
Will I be able to lose that 10 pounds.
Will they like me.
Will they approve of me. 
Will, will, will.

God promises He hears us. He knows our hearts. Our desires. 
HE WILL. and He can. 

I have found a new fear that is taking root in my heart. 
One that I don't want to welcome or have it become a part of me. 

Fear of people and their judgements on my life in Christ and the way I live.

Am I doing something wrong? 
passes through my head more times then I would like that phrase to. 
Fear that I am going to mess up. 
Do something wrong in their eyes. 
Or their rules. 
Their way they think life should be lived. 

I have let it consume my spirit. 
and I am exhausted. 
God is not of fear. 
So why do I fear so much of screwing up. 
Of making mistakes.

" through Christ you have come to trust in God. And you have placed your faith and hope in God because he raised Christ from the dead and gave Him great glory. You were cleansed from our sins when you obeyed the trust so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart." 1 Peter 1:21-22

That is why His perfect son poured out His crimson blood for all those times I have and I will sin. Cause I am going to. 
But I see my life changing and a deep desire to choose to do right thing. 
tucking that inside my heart is something I need to unfold daily. 

I love how God called me, redeemed me, and is healing me. 
I am not perfect. I will never be. 
But I am not striving to be perfect for anyone else's sake except for Jesus.

To be like Him.
To be His love.
His Hands. His feet. 
His heart. 
His forgiveness. 

my life would be 

n.o.t.h.i.n.g. 

without His blood. 

So why am I trying to make my life something that is not of Him.

Fear. 
a 4 letter word that captures so many of us. 

" we were ransomed... not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ." 1 Peter 1:18-19

His rules are what we should follow.
His words.
His truth. 
His heart. 

"fear of the Lord means we don't have to fear anything else." (She reads truth 1&2 Peter study)

I am learning to fear the Lord vividly in my life. By asking Him to convict my heart when I am in the wrong. When I am not being what He desires of my spirit. 

To not live up to peoples expectations they have of me. 
But to live up to Gods expectations He has for my life right here, right now.

To go against this fear. 
I want to serve Him in a way that has given me fear. 
BEING BOLD in His name. 
this is something I want to release to Him. 
why hold Him in. I want others to see that there is something in my spirit that is not of this world. 
That can ONLY come from God. 

~ I pray that He brings girls into my life who have come to selling their bodies to survive. I pray for those who are pregnant that God would entrust them into my care as a midwife. That I can love them through this season in their lives. 
~ I desire to reach out to those who are always asking for money for their grumbling tummies. What is 10 pesos to me compared to what 10 pesos is to them. To love them by filling their stomachs and praying that God will be seen in something Jesus so easily did to thousands. 

" He brings us out of a life of ordinary, life-stealing fear and into a relationship with an awe-inspiring, life-transforming Savior." (she reads truth 1&2 Peter study)

I am not going to waste my time here worrying about what people think I should do. 
Who they think I should be and how they think I should act.

God tells me that. Convicts me. Allows me. 
To receive forgiveness for when I screw up. 

He desires to give me the FREEDOM to serve Him.
To want to put a smile on His face everyday. 
I want my life to be worthy to Him.

So away with fear. 
I am done being held back. 
I want to live this one life to the fullest. 
To get to those gates of gold and hear my Father say He is proud of me. 

I posted this song before. 

But it just rings so true.

Keep this in your heart. Sing these words. Proclaim this truth.

we are NO LONGER slaves to fear. 

WE ARE CHILDREN OF GOD. 

In Christ's Freeing Love
Emily Elizabeth

Laughing is better than crying.

Started an 8 week english class.
I get to write. 
words upon words.
and have a professional read them.
nerves take over.
but growth is welcomed. 

Here is a persuasive essay. 
its a piece of my heart. 
laughter is apart of me.
its tattooed on me. 
its something that helps me get through life. 

enjoy. 

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive.” 

~ Bill Cosby

Laughing is better than Crying.

          Emotions come individually or all at once. It is how we confront, accept and deal with them that shapes us into who we are and allows us to wake up to take on what tomorrow has for us. We can choose to look at a hopeless or confusing situation and laugh, realizing its just another bump in the road to get over. Or we can let them bring us to the depths of our heart and pull out sadness and frustration that can radiate into other distant areas in our lives. Laughing is a natural way to release what you are holding onto without even realizing your grip is slowly loosening. Shedding tears is a natural way to realize how something has taken root in your soul and is shaping you through those seasons of crying. After tears, usually comes laughter, right? So maybe we need to just skip the tears and begin making laughter contagious for our souls. 

          Laughter is that deep, belly jolting happiness when you’re surrounded by those who you love. The high pitch giggle of babies that is music to your ears, its contagious melody that takes over your body. School girls gabbing in a circle over what “he” said to her. A deep, crackling rumble from a table surrounded by friends who have decades of memories together. Mothers with strollers in hand at the park, hooting and hollering over what their toddlers said at the dinner table last night. A chuckle from a the man sitting at the table next to you, engulfed in his own world while reading the latest headline in the newspaper. 

          It’s in those moments of confusion as to why you are laughing, that something is released. A sense of relief in taking that moment to look at yourself and see the that the world around you is really not all so serious. You don’t need a reason to laugh, but through that moment of unrelenting laughter you think of something that actually is funny and it keeps you going. It allows you to take a break, a moment, a pause from reality to look back on all you have gone through. All you have accomplished. Good or bad. Easy or exhaustingly hard. The times where you feel so drained you don’t think you can take one more blow. But then someone cracks a joke. You may get it right away, and that giddiness starts to creep up from your stomach, that feeling of a wave rushing over you and before you know it your laughter is consuming you. Erasing all the fear and grief for that freeze frame of time to just enjoy the feeling of not being in control. 

For some, jokes take a while to sink in. You get that confusing, puzzled look while everyone around you who does get it is showing you through their stretched out faces and shaking bodies. But then wait, you think, start to connect dots, make lines and boom. You are joining them, even extending that precious moment of complete freedom to everyone else as they join in after realizing that you now just figured the wittiness and root of the phrase. 

         Laughing uses your whole being. Your whole mind, body and spirit. It shapes your outlook on life. It takes tension from those areas where you hold it, where you pile stress upon stress until you can’t move anymore from being buried from all that life throws at you. Your schedule builds up, days consume you, time seems to go by so quickly. Before you know it your in bed, exhausted and ready to turn your mind off. Some maybe even dreading seeing the sun tomorrow, realizing all the demands that are just there waiting for when they wake up. Take that sweet split second moment between letting out your “ahhh” after sinking into your bed and being consumed by your comforter and closing your eyes drifting off into the dreams of your imagination. Think over the day. Look hard, real deep into the moments of the day that is behind you. Don’t let them pass by unnoticed. Find it and let out a laugh. Alone or with the person next to you, with your roommate or with your dog. Laugh. Just let it out and release it into the atmosphere. Let it fling you into the plans of tomorrow, preparing you for the tasks ahead. Remind yourself that anything could happen. Let the laughter of your life today take you into the unknowns of your life tomorrow. 

Laugh at the stupid things you have done. Laugh at the things you had no idea of what you were doing. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with others. Laugh in the silence. Laugh through the noise. Laugh through tears. Laugh through trials. Laugh through projects. Laugh between moments. Laugh into negativity. Laugh while others are staring at you. Laugh between sips, spoonfuls and bursts of flavor. Laugh at typos. Laugh at misunderstandings. Laugh for courage. Laugh for strength. Laugh to see your growth. 

          Release it and let it go. Allow it to be a disease that consumes you. That takes a hold of you deep down in your heart. Let it flow out of you gifting others with the comfort of laughing at their own mistakes. Breaking the tension in the air. Letting those around you know its okay to be vulnerable through laughing at your imperfection. 

       We all know the saying, “ laughter is the best medicine.” Sometimes it’s hard to accept those impossible mountains that are placed before us, calling us to climb up and overcome by making it to the peak. During those moments of doubt, exhaustion and weakness. Allow laughing to be your medicine. Take it and feel it spread throughout your body. Into every area of your life, of your desires, of your mountains and valleys. Allow your body a rest from fighting life’s battles. Taking it in doses, sometimes over dosing on certain days. It’s the only medicine that is okay to take in large quantities, that is encouraged to be increase daily. When your feeling down in the dumps, when you can not seem to get rid of that grey cloud that is stocking your every move, surround yourself with people who will allow you to pause for that moment and be encouraged to stop the rain and get a peak of the rays that the sun gifts us with. Allow the warmth of laughter to radiate your soul and blur your vision of futures tasks. 

        Take that dose, forget in that moment life’s challenges. I dare you. Laugh just a little more. Enjoy taking a break from the demands of perfection. Release burdens with your best friend. Create a lifelong memory with those you love. At the end of tears comes laughter. Embrace it. Take pride in laughing at your mistakes. Encourage each other to live a life filled with giggles. Todays laughter reduces the dreading “to-do” list of tomorrow. I challenge you. To laugh tomorrow. Start out with just one laugh attack. While you’re in your car on your way to work, singing in the shower or having a conversation with a two year old. Laugh. See where it takes you. Soon you might be surprised that life isn’t really all that bad. 

In Christ's Love

Emily Elizabeth