Anticipation of a babe.

I have had beautiful births.
ones that end with a pink screaming baby.
joyous mama && papa.

I have had ones end with disappointment.
a transport to the government hospital.
a broken heart (mine) 
for the loss of bringing a child into this world.
with peace. 
giving the mom confidence in her body.
intervention-less.

last week I had one of each.

both 20 years old. 
both first time mamas.
both complete opposite births. 


miss. E breathed through each contractions with breeze. 
then things got a little harder.
exhaustion set in after laboring all night. 
with contraction coming one after the other.
every 2 minutes. 
finally the urge to push set in. 
her waters broke. 
and things went downhill. 
IV inserted to replace the energy lost. 
laying on her back, squatting, hip swaying, tug-o-war.
after many different positions. 
speaking words of encouragement.
and a cry of help.... from me. 
to God. 
asking to bring this baby down. 
swelling started to form on baby's head.
60 minutes had passed. 
no progress. 
exhaustion overwhelming. 
We decided there was no way we would be able to get this baby out. 
her pelvic outlet was to small for this little ones head. 
and now my heart breaks even more.
her hand wouldn't let go. 
laying on the bed in a place so stale. 
her words...

please stay here with me. don't leave me. stay here. 

stay here. with me miss Emily. please.

Oh Lord, I know your heart broke. 
just like mine did that very moment. 
Oh Lord, be with your daughters.
around this world.
going through birth. 
the pain. 
the exhaustion.
Oh Lord,
give them strength.
whisper words of love, encouragement, trust, & confidence. 
Oh Lord, 
take them in your arms. 
and cover them in your protection.

Kim Cyril. {12.15.2015} 9:15pm
2800 Grams

miss. J came in smiling, talkative & ready for the task ahead. 
her bana ( boyfriend ) left to go to work. 
her mother in law stayed to be by her side. 
hours went by. 
every 2 minutes. every 2 minutes. every 2 minutes. 
the plea for help. 
the power went out. which made the sweat roll. 
the power went on. 
the sweat kept rolling. 
her arm around my neck. hands intertwined. head heavy on my shoulder.
every 2 minutes. 
my sweat and her sweat combined. 
finally her bana shows up.
I think its true when they say some women hold on until whatever they are waiting for appears
He was a saving grace.
coaching her to breathe. 
inhale. exhale. 
together. they made a wonderful team.
the moment their son was placed on her stomach.
tears of joy & excitement began to flow.
me and my assist were trying to hold back our tears.
they were so attentive to their new babe. 
their love was evident. 
their thankfulness flowed from their lips. 

I have been praying that all my patients babies would be brought into this world.
with joy. love. excitement. 
as a gift. 
not all babies are welcomed with tears of joy.
but this little man was. 
and God had that for my heart.
an answered prayer.
to tuck away. 
and remember. 





There are good days and bad days.
good births and bad births. 
but in it all God brings redemption. 
babies are welcomed into this world. 
they come naturally or through interventions. 

This Christmas, this advent.
The birth of our Savior has a whole new meaning to me.
Being so close to birth. 

3 generations of beautiful women.
This sweet little girl was born on Thanksgiving. 

being the person at the other end.
literally. 
I wonder what it was like for Mary & Joseph.
all alone. on that night. 
Mary, exhausted from the long trip. 
from each contraction. 
then pushing with every muscle in her body.
our Savior. 
wrapped in swaddling.
The heavens above. The Angels. 
roared with a joyous celebration. 
The King of Kings. 
has arrived. 

The whole Old Testament. 
leading up to this moment. 
anticipating the arrival. 
year upon year. 
our hearts anticipate the birth of a babe.
born in a manger.
to the virgin.
welcomed with love. 
from those who traveled afar.
from us. 
who He came into this world for. 

" The authority of God made all of creation. But it was the affection of God that made all His children. The three persons of the Trinity - Father God, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit - gathered close together to imagine YOU. And God in three persons, uncontainable affection, knelt down and kissed warm life into you with the breath of His love." Anne Voskamp

God brings His redemption in many ways. 
He loves you. 
He loves His children.
He came into this world the same way we all did. 

I pray that your heart is being prepared for His birth. 
for this little babe to be born. 
for His love. 
& desires for your life. 

Have a Merry Christmas.
Full of joy & laughter. 
with those loved ones who will surround you this season. 
In Christ's Love, 
Emily Elizabeth