17 again.

think back.
far back.
or not so far back. 
depending on how many years you have grace this world with your presence.

>>> to when you                      were 17 years old. <<<

what were you doing in school?
what was your biggest dream?
what was the latest gossip? 
who did you secretly like?
what were you fighting about with your mom?
what style of clothing was "in"?

Me: I was a Junior in high school. vying for the attention from one boy who I would never totally have his heart as I desired. Taking my position as wrestling manager very seriously. Worrying about where I was going to start looking at colleges. Just trying to get by with my studies in school. Going to parties on the weekends and trying to fit in. Started working at Lexington Floral and Nordstrom the summer after the school year. Going to the beach everyday. Having bon fires accompanied with late night in depth talks. I remember laughing a lot, crying over stupid things, and feeling like I had everything together only to look back and laugh at myself because I was far from having things together. 

Now imagine your always uncomfortable, swollen feet, exhausted all the time, not being able to go out with friends and then boom you find yourself in a bed having deep painful contractions that are of a foreign feeling. Coming in and out of sleep & your body is filled with exhaustion. People around you who speak a language you can only understand a few words of. Telling you things you need to do. Pushing for an hour until finally you hear this sweet little whimper then cry from a new soul that was growing inside of you. In shock and exhausted. Not knowing what to think. Knowing your world just changed from having no worry in the world to now having one to worry about for the rest of your life. 

I was blessed to be able to observe/help a 17, still so young, strong and courageous girl, deliver a handsome baby boy into the world this last saturday. 

It broke my heart to realize that this happens way to often. Not just in developing countries but even developed countries. Girls younger then 17 becoming moms and forced to mature in a snap when they are mere children themselves. 

Will you join in praying with me for those girls around the world who are going through this immense life change of becoming a mother to their own children. 

No matter their situation wether an unplanned pregnancy 

or the victim of rape/sex trafficking. 

Lets lift them up to their True Father who loves them 

no matter what they are going through. 

No matter how deep the hurt is. 

They should know they are going through this alone. 

Keep these precious vulnerable hearts in your prayers. For strength in those times they just want to go to the mall with their friends but are stuck at home with a crying baby. For a love that will grow deep for their children so that they will choose them over going out and partying. An understanding of how special they are from those who surround their lives so that it will radiate to their child as they grow up. 

These girls, these moms need every ounce of encouragement. 

Give it to them. 

Pray for them.

Love them. 

I could never imagine what my life would be like right now if I became a mom at 17. I know that I would not be here in the Philippines learning how to support the women in this exact situation and give them a safe and healthy delivery of their child into this world. 

A 17 year old's little son was welcomed into this world.. 
She went from child to adult that very moment.

 
She is strong.
She is beautiful.
She is amazing. 
She will always be a daughter of the Most High. 

" I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime- until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you." Isaiah 46:4





To all you amazing women out there.
Thank you : ) 
and NEVER stop being who you are because that is exactly who you were created to be.

In Christ's love
Emily Elizabeth

Seeing for the first time.

How many years did You plan this moment here

To show me how 

You love me.

went on a looooong bike ride this last saturday with Elizabeth.

Oh what beautiful views God had planned for our hearts.

The things I saw, heard, smelt.

I took it ALL in. 

We discovered where they make TONS of coconut oil. Look at where your coconut oil is from. If it says its coconuts are from the Philippines. Then I know exactly where it is squeezed, boiled and put into jars of pure amazingness : ) 

We found a dirt path off the main road that took us to a cliff overlooking the Davao Gulf. We met a handful of lalaki ( little boys) who were swimming and enjoying the day. We got to practice out Cebuano which is getting better... I hope. 

This island is so beautiful. The faces always plastered with contagious smiles. Hands waving all over to make sure we can see them. Kissing noises ( thank you Haiti for preparing me) The laughter & giggles from innocent little souls. and honking. Oh so much honking. 


We have been in school for 4 weeks and i am in awe and constant shock of how much I actually am remembering. Its hard. But so worth it. We have amazing teachers who are so wonderful and fun to learn from. This week we learned how to make coconut milk, coconut oil and coconut shavings. It was my favorite day yet at I am a coconut freak and will be experimenting even more with this natural yumminess that is so bountiful here. Thank You God.  


I am always feeling overwhelmed with emotions when I stop, open my eyes and I am then reminded where I am living & what I am doing here. He had this planned from my very beginning and I could just imagine how many laugh attacks He had when I freaked out not knowing what I would be doing next. 

"Emily, you silly girl. I have everything planned out and you have NO idea what skills I am going to equip you with & where I am going to send you" - God





through my many moves I thought I felt peace about where I was. I did a few times and am blessed to have had them. it seems that I experienced that peace when I was in a season of growth. 
This time I am in a season of not only growth but of being equipped with skills that will carry me through my entire life. 

Well I have a feeling He will still have PLENTY of laugh attacks ahead of Him but this unbelievable feeling of peace is so amazing. I welcome it with open arms. 


Knowing I am in the right place where He desires me to be. 
Not worrying about whats next. 
Or where I will move to. 

breathtaking. comforting. tranquility. 

Just being here. Living in the moment of every day. Yearning for growth and knowledge. In my calling as a midwife and in my relationship with my Savior. 

Oh how I wish you all could come and experience this city. 
The beautiful hearts of these people. 
This life they live out here every day. 

I pray that He opens your eyes to the beauty around you. To what He wants you to understand, desire & dream. Take in those little moments and I promise you will find Him in them. I am sure they will make you crave more and more of them && Him. 

Rest in His peace. 

In His Love. 

Emily Elizabeth

akong bana.

to my future husband.
I have one request.

whisk me away from cooking dinner to dance with me. whisper these words into my ear. swoon me with this song on any given day. 

pretty please : ) 




My heart is aching to love you.
Your patiently waiting but eager to be romanced wife. 

Apple Cider Vinegar.

Well it lasted for about.... 3 days. 


apple cider vinegar shots in the morning. 
brutal.
but supposed to be oh so good for you. for your skin. weight loss. alkalizing my body< whatever that means. 


It keeps taking me back to the time when I would take shots of clear liquid out of a water bottle... ya know. that potato fermented stuff that starts with a V.

^^ Makes me giggle when I think back to when I thought I was so sneaky and so cool. Oh hey high school me, there are more things to life and you would never guess where you are going to live and what you are going to be doing in the world : ) 

Part of me tells myself that it will taste like apple cider. as fall is my favorite season and I will not be enjoying it to the fullest as I usually do with EVERYTHING apple & pumpkin. 

and then I take it and am SO satisfied let down as it burns the whole way from my mouth to stomach. 

seems like that happens a lot in life. you make a decision you think is good... then you figure out it was soooo not. It didn't give you the satisfaction you thought it would have. you end up with a hangover of disappointment. 

I have had one to many of those days. weeks. months. years? 

oh yes. I am far from perfect. 

I like to think that I can do things. Stick with things that are healthy for me. But then realize that it takes longer then just a few days to really make an impact. 

be right back gotta go take my "apple cider yumminess"

ish. I did it.


{I am really getting into a good routine being grounded FINALLY in the Philippines. I hope its healthy. been running, lifting weights, going on bike rides. drinking lots of water && coconut water. Eating healthy. having deep fellowship. never ending laughs. conversations with meaning. trust that is growing genuine roots. exploring the city around me. spending precious time with my Savior}



My life seems so much more manageable when I can actually have somewhat control and freedom in going out by myself for a long run after language school or be in the kitchen for hours with french music && beautiful colorful food to create something yummy with. Allowing a time to process, sweat & feel rejuvenated.

I wanted to drive this car home.
its full of coconuts.
if you couldn't tell : ) yumm

I am happy. 
SO HAPPY. 
have I mentioned how happy I am with life here? 
well I am. Peace & certainty is surrounding me. 

 Its in these times that I need to keep my guard up. Cause there is always a snake slithering my way to do something to ruin this serenity.




" Your idealism means nothing here. Your Christian gospel has never scrupled the conscience of my children. You think you love them, but wait until you know them, if you can ever know them! You presume you are ready to grapple with me, understand my mysteries and change my nature. But I am easily able to overpower you with my gloom, my remoteness, my heedless brutality, my indolence, my unashamed morbidity, my total otherness! Think again before you commit yourself to certain disillusionment! can't you see I am no place for your wife? I am no place for your son. I am no place for you..."        
From Peace Child. by Don Richardson (I highly recommend this book. eye opening. convicting and encouraging)

>>As the vinegar slides down its reminds me. brings back memories. past regrets. 
that pesky snake thrives on bringing me down. reminding me of my sinful ways. 

but when the good, promised health effects start to show I realize that there is something good that comes from determination. The bad negativity doesn't hold you down forever. That moments of bitterness is only that... a moment.

{{ God has redeemed me from my old self. I have been given a new life. one full of healing, growth and mercy. }}

I have been washed clean and the bottom of the bottle no longer represents my heart, soul, life. 

I am full. 

In Him.

I no longer have to worry about that snake creeping into my life. 

I can lean on God. for strength. healing and forgiveness. 

to be able to look back on all my mistakes and not dwell on them.

not let them define me.

but to be defined by who I am now in Christ. 

I am the daughter of the One who spilled His blood for my mistakes. 

I am going to strive to abide in Him.

Acquire my strength only from Him. Find life from Him to fill me up when I am empty. 

To make it not only a habit but my daily life to live without reservation in and for Him.

Giving thanks. Singing sweet praises. Falling further and further...

In Love with the Redeemer of my heart. 

I am New. 

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 

2 Corinthians 5:17

Praises & updates.

- week 2 of language school. Understanding SO much more. having LOTS of laughs. 

- My roommate got back friday : ) we are basically the same person in a different body. God makes me giggle sometimes. I am so excited to deepen this relationship.

- found the cutest little cafe. clean eating nummies. they have cheese & yogurt : ) and lots of healthy delicious food. cant wait to go there next weekend

- Have I mentioned that there are some beautiful sunsets here... yeah I did post 2 photos on this blog. they are breathtaking and remind me every day of Gods beautiful creations that are just for us!

Prayer Requests

- continual retention of this new language

- good health for all of us girls as few are feeling run down.

- safe travels for my parents. far as I know they are having a wonderful time somewhere there in Europe ; ) 

- I work tomorrow and am praying I get to finally observe a birth!

In Christ's Redeeming Love

Emily Elizabeth

One Love.

Warning. May be long : )

" If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't LOVE others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all the knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could moved mountains, but didn't LOVE others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't LOVE others, I would have gained nothing. "

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

     

The feeling of experiencing a love that I am so unworthy of.

To be saturated daily with a deep comfort of being held. 

Knowing I will NEVER ever be able to reciprocate an agape Love to those around me yet I am loved this way in every moment of my life.
Being allowed to lift my hands and voice to sing praises of thankfulness freely.
Knowing I am in the right place, that I was guided here so strategically, because of God's unique love for me.

I want to bring Him praise and make this life, my life, right here, right now WORTHY for the One who created me by loving those around me the best I can because He loved me first.

To grow in my understanding of what it truly means to love.

Storage - affection: fondness through familiarity
Philia - friendship: Friendship is the strong bond existing between people who share common interest or activity
Eros - romance:  sense of 'being in love' or 'loving' someone
Agape - unconditional love: the love that brings forth caring regardless of the circumstance

I believe that we all will experience one of these kinds of love throughout our life. Its in those moments where we find ourselves with a deeper yearning and questioning of what that feeling is when we experience a deeper love that feels foreign to us. 

"My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God." 1 John 4:8 (message)

I am more and more overwhelmed when I think, or try to wrap my mind around how much God loves me. Through my sin, selfishness, negativity. He still finds me worthy, worthy of a life that is surrounded by His beauty, His blessings and His unceasing love. 
** I keep finding tears welling up when I am in moments of singing feeling God just surround me with His love 

He is digging deeper into my heart, bringing out emotions and desires that I have never felt before. 
what a comfort to know that He is continually working in my heart and recapturing it everyday. 


I find myself asking how can I love others deeper. 
How I can serve those around me in an unfathomable way. 
What does it look like to love with an agape love? 

"God’s love for us is a sacrificial love, the kind that sent Him to the cross for our sins. He didn’t save us because we were lovable; He saved us because His love caused Him to sacrifice Himself for us. Do we love others enough to sacrifice for them, even when they are not lovable? Loving others is a matter of the will and the volition, not the emotions...... Loving others is difficult because they are human and we are human. But in this difficulty we come to better appreciate the quality of God’s love for us. And when we love others in spite of their lack of lovability, God’s Spirit shines through, He is glorified, others are edified, and the world sees Christ in us. " 

I am praying, seeking & opening my heart to God and His answer for my life. 

It is such a personal answer to each of us. There is no one right way. I just want to glorify Him through my loving of others so that they will see Christ in me. 

I have been so incredibly loved by everyone through infinite support, whether its words of encouragement, prayers, or financial support. The love that I get from you ALL keeps me going, keeps giving me a focus and drive. I am beyond blessed by the friendships from all around the world, those who I have met or not even met. God is abundantly blessing me with an incredible amount of LOVE and I want to say thank you. Thank you for showing me this love. 

The world I think has lost sight of what it means to love ceaselessly. With everything going on, it breaks my heart that people are missing out on such a love as this. 






The Bob Marley song "One Love" keeps popping in my mind. 

There really is only ONE LOVE.

and that is God. 

"God is love"

The day where everyone is singing together. Giving praises to our True Father. Gives me chills. My heart aches for this. Every tongue, nation, tribe and people together, shouting praises of agape love to our Creator. 

I urge everyone to examine their hearts. 

Do you love those around you to the fullest? 

We all have flaws yet God sees through all of ours, can we learn to do that too? To love without judgement. To love in new ways through serving others. To take those 5 minutes to stop and ask how your neighbor, best friend, sister, barista, taxi driver is doing. To show them that you care no matter if you know them or not. You never know who will need that tidbit of encouragement or attention that day. 

As Your love, in wave after wave

Crashes over me, crashes over me

For You are for us

You are not against us

Champion of Heaven

You made a way for all to enter in

- You make me brave, Bethel Music

As God continues to love us daily, wave after wave. 

lets take that love and radiate it to others. 

You don't have to do something big and showy. 

Pray and ask God to open your heart & eyes in that moment He is putting before you to love on someone who is in need of knowing that they are loved. 

Lets make this life, which is all a gift to us, worth it through L.O.V.E

I pray that God of Heavens Armies will cover you in His agape love and show you just how remarkable you are. That in those times of stress, doubt and darkness you will feel His arms around you, holding you tight and whispering those three beautifully honest words. 

I LOVE YOU. 

In Christ's Love that allows me to love 

Emily Elizabeth

** Highs & lows of my week.

- started language school. My brain hasn't worked this hard in... FOREVER. Its a pat on the back feeling when I already can understand this language. but only a tiny bit. 7 more weeks of breaking barriers between me and Filipinos. 

- Had my first shift friday night. 10pm-6am. unfortunately there were no births. But for my fellow sisters here they have all got to see a birth or 4 on their first shifts : ) I am so thankful that God is blessing us all here in ways we could never imagine. 

- Went on a 2.5 hour bike ride around Davao yesterday. I am so thankful that I can go out and explore this city in a way I couldn't living in Haiti. Almost got in a few crashes but came out with only a sore butt : ) I am asking for a bike for my birthday now... something I never thought I would ask for!

Prayer Requests:

- Our continual understanding of this culture and language. That our minds will continue to soak up Cebuano in incredible amounts. 

- Erin & Dorval as they are FINALLY stateside. That she will be able to get much needed rest and family time & for continual guidance as she is now a mom : ) ( got to skype with her last night and it made my heart so happy to see them again. I sure do miss them both) 

- My parents leave for Europe on tuesday with two of their friends. Please pray for Safe travels, beautiful experiences & memories together. 

How can I pray for you? please message me as I would love to be your prayer warrior.

Something I always like to say when people ask me why I do what I do... of course its because God has called me to this beautiful adventurous life but also....

I love to love. 

and I hope that I am able to show that to those near and far to me.