Wholehearted Trust.

I am in a season of TRUST. 

" But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. I praise God for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals to do me?" Psalm 56:3

I thank the Lord for this summer, for all the experiences He allowed me to have, the new relationships He brought into my life that I am so grateful for, and the several new desires He has laid upon my heart for Haiti. 

I am at a point where I would usually be freaking out about not knowing what I am doing next and where I would be, yet I have such a resounding peace that I know is only coming graciously from the Lord. 

"You love Him even though you have never seen Him. Though you do not see Him now, you trust Him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting Him will be the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:8

negative note ----> I started drinking coffee again, after being sober for 4 months WHYYYY did I start??!! Iced coffee has hit the spot tho these past few extremely hot days. 

I believe the Lord has something great right around the corner for me, its these trial periods where He is asking me to look only to Him for guidance and answers. To meditate on His words and His promises that He is right there with me. To focus on what He has for me at this very moment and to trust in His perfect timing of what is next to come. 


" How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog- it's here a little while, then it's gone. What you ought to say is, "if the Lords wants us to , we will live and do this or that." otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil." James 4:14-16


I have been experiencing amazing ministries that do amazing things for the people of Haiti. They show a love that God has called us to give to all. Wether its from loving His children who are orphaned to equipping those with trade skills to provide for their families to providing a safe environment for woman to bring their children into this world. One thing that they all have in common is that they do everything through love, which only God is able to allow by His intimate Love that He has for us. 

" Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8


As I prepare to come back to the states, I am heavy hearted as I am sad to be leaving this beautiful island. I pray for a short stay in the US and that the Lord will bring me back in His quick but perfect timing. He has made me a new person over the summer and I pray that He continues to change me inside and out. If you couldn't tell I have been reading 1 Peter, he displays this struggle so perfectly on how to continue down the righteous path of God.

Finding this mommas twins heart beats. unexplainable moment

" So you must live as God's obedient children. Don't slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures day, "You must be holy because I am holy." 1 Peter 1:14


Upon my return back to the states I will be making life changes that are needed as I desire to continue on this obedient & glorifying path that God has directed me on. I am abstaining from alcohol, which those of you who know me I love me a glass of yummy red wine and a nice cold beer after a hot day. I have come to realize that I would use alcohol in a way to escape and therefor I have bad self control in that area. I want to glorify God in my actions and this is one that I do not when participating in. I pray that by making this commitment other people will see the love of Christ & that when we glorify Him and listen, He gives us the desires of our hearts and provides for our every need. And not to mention He is a proud Father.

" Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6: 8-9

I am going to do the Daniel Fast for 21 days to strengthen my relationship and to really focus on what God has for me next in Haiti. I find so much joy and comfort in those intimate times of prayer.

I do not desire to be coming back to the states only to enjoy the 3 F's. Family, Friends & Food : ) I am so excited to have some frozen yogurt and SALADS. Haiti is my home which I find so much comfort in the honking, roosters crowing & this language that I am learning. I find joy driving along the streets as the sights are becoming familiar to me and so usual in my everyday life here. But I know that the Lord has a plan for me and He will bring me back to Haiti, I need to listen to Him and obey Him for what He has next for me in the States. 

My prayer for Haiti:

" I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." Ephesians 3:16-19

Prayer requests: 

• Safe travels for when I fly back to the states. 
• Gods sovereign hand will guide those who I have been in conversation with about my future serving the Lord and His children in Haiti. 
• For my friends who start/started school that they will be a light to those who the Lord brings into their lives this next school year. 
• My family who I am so excited to see : ) 
• Isaiah and Esley, that He will protect them and continue to create that special bond between mother and child. (I do not know the next time I will see them but I think about them daily and pray that he will continue to grow and be nourished by momma. ) 
• My cousin Dana as she is spending this semester at sea & her recent rededication to the Lord. May He bring supportive friends who will spur her on and that she will be a light to those that He brings into her life these next few months. 

MESI MESI MESI ANPIL for all your support through prayer over the last few months. I am so grateful for who God has brought into my life to spur me on and support me on His great mission for my life. I am looking forward to hopefully visiting while being back in the states to share more of what God is doing in my life, to raise support & maybe plan future trips to Haiti for those interested in meeting these amazing people down here and experiencing what I am so lucky to experience daily. 

E

"My child, if your heart is wise, my own heart will rejoice! Everything in Me will celebrate when you speak what is right." Proverbs 23:15-16

Isaiah.

This week God has blessed me beyond imagination. He continues to open my eyes to the culture here in Haiti and the beautiful woman who are the backbone of this beautiful island.

 Wednesday August 7th.

Waking up that day I didn't expect to have the day that God planned for me. Hanging around planning on spending time with Brandy and the children, Sherrie came in and asked if we would take a group of people down and show them the ravine. Brandy willingly said yes after getting out of the shower only to get dirty again. As we headed out we were ready for children to swarm around us laughing and tugging on our arms... yes that did happen and ALWAYS happens. As we walked into the little tent city I had several children ushering me into a house, I was hesitant to go as I didn't know if this was okay. They assured me it was and I went into this small 10x10 house with a tin roof and 2 small windows. I looked around and saw one bed with the most precious baby boy snoozing away. My heart began to swell with happiness as I saw the mom laying next to him. I started to smile and congratulate the mother. A week before we were in the same area and she was complaining of cramps, we told her she was going into labor... she said she wasn't but low and behold SHE WAS!

After a conversation that was translated, I soon became aware that he was a day old, had something wrong with his umbilical cord and that he did not have a name yet. The mother said I can name him and I told her that we would name him together. I asked her if there was anyway she could go to the hospital as we couldn't do anything. The answer that you will hear 9 times out of 10 is that they don't have any money to go to the hospital. I asked her if she would trust me with her child to take him to get looked at. Her reply, " He is yours you take him." Well God, this is my child for the day and I am going to love him with my whole heart. 

I have never received so many stares, which is ironic because when you are the only "blan" person walking the streets of Haiti you always get stared at, but when you are carrying a baby in your arms you get attention from EVERYONE! slightly awkward as I didn't know what they were all saying and I knew some of them thought I was taking this baby away from its mother, but I didn't care. God gave me this child to love and to take care of for the day. 

I called my sister right away asking her what to do and we came to the conclusion that he needed to go to the hospital. I am so thankful for my sister in times like this. I hopped in the car, which was weird because his car seat was my arms. I held him so tightly to make sure nothing would happen while driving. Only in Haiti : ) We pulled up to the local hospital, I got out went in saw the line and walked right back to the car and told Edmond to drive somewhere else.

I thank God for the people He so strategically puts into my life for times like these. two weeks ago I came into contact with Beth who has a ministry that offers care & medical help for mothers and babies. I told him to drive to their house and after 4 people later we finally were pulling into the driveway. We weighted the 5 pound little man, cleaned him up and assed his medical issue. Beth said she would give me a call when she heard back from the pediatrician in the states and sent me on my way with some new baby clothes. 10 minutes later she said we needed to recut the umbilical cord with the sack that was coming off of it. So we drove home, picked up Brandy, swung by to get Esley, and she willingly agreed to come with us to Heartline. We dropped Brandy off at the airport ( was hard to say goodbye to her but I know that God will guide her back to Haiti ) and headed on our way back to take care of Gods handsome son. 

Esley & Isaiah

The nurse did the things that needed to be done and Beth checked Esley to see if everything was okay after birth. Most women give birth at home with the assistance of a local midwife. Most are not trained and who knows the conditions during the birth process. Her blood pressure was through the roof and Beth was surprised she didn't have a stroke yet. Eclampsia is very common among Haitian women.

After, we all sat down and Beth showed this mother of four how to properly breast feed. Many woman don't know that it takes a few days to get the milk in and so they give up on feeding this way. Beth is a wonderful advocate for breast feeding and empowering women to feed and nurture their babies this way. it was such an amazing experience to see this mom bonding to her son for most likely the first time. 

There needs to be more of this, not just in Haiti but all over the world. Empowering women and showing them that God gave us this body for a special reason. 

On the way back home I told Esley that the american name I am giving her son is Isaiah. I have been reading this book of the bible over the summer and have learned so much. God has repeatedly told me that HE has a plan for my life, HE is in control and HE is always with me guiding me. Not to be afraid of the circumstances I am facing but to turn to Him for guidance and peace. In creole they pronounce it Is-ay-ee. I did not expect her to keep the name but I went back the next day to make sure they were okay, I asked her if she named him yet and she said the name that you chose for him. Isayeee. My heart was so full leaving her house. 

God you gave me your son that one day to love and care for and I cant thank you enough for those special moments of holding that sweet boy in my arms. Ironically a few days ago I was writing in my journal that I am ready when God is to bring a son or daughter into my life that I would love unconditionally and raise up to shine Gods light to others. I know that this was just a little glimpse of what God has in store for me in the future. He is going to do something BIG I just know it. 

I have been back everyday to check on this new "fanmi" that God has given me in the ravine. I pray every time before I leave. I ask God to send his angels to protect and surround this house, to bring love to this family and I thank Him for these beautiful people He has created. I pray everyday that I will shine a light into that little dark house and that God will use me and these new relationships in the ravine to guide these ladies to the love that Christ has for them.

" Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then you right will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring." Isaiah 58:10-11

God has been planning several divine appointments over the last week and I know that He is trying to tell me something through them. I have met several woman who are pregnant and have new born babies who need help. Heartline ministries has had such an influence in empowering woman and educating these mothers on how to be a mother and how to use the body that God has given us. I am so inspired by Beth and what she is doing.

www.heartlineministries.org <<<< check them out

Yesterday I met a 21 year old who was 5 months pregnant. She got to hear the babies heart beat for the first time. What a indescribable moment to hear Gods creation alive, To know that there is another child being created and that God has a specific plan and purpose for this child's life. She takes care of her 3 brothers and 1 sister everyday while their mom is out trying to earn money to feed them as their father passed away. The babies daddy is not in the picture, I know that she is terrified and she most likely does not feel a connection to this child. This needs to change.

Espelanta is 5 months Pregnant. She is going to be a wonderful mom as she shows so much love and care for her younger siblings. 

A woman who is 8 months pregnant came to us today to check up and make sure everything is okay. She heard the heartbeat maybe for the first time. She told us that this is her 8th child and that the father did not want this child, he didn't want to feed it. He wanted to kill this child that she had been carrying around and nurturing for the last 8 months. He told her she needs to stop having children... UM HELLO DUDE you are part of the equation and the reason why she is with child. She is going to give this child up after a few months. This needs to change. 

There is such little education of how to take care of yourself and baby during the 9 months. There is little education on how to care for your child after its born. There is little education about breast feeding and feeding your child. There is little education about sex ed and about our bodies that were so carefully created.

              THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE

Please pray for these ladies in the ravine that God will shine His light through me or anyone who takes time to invest in these ladies lives. That they will understand how precious and valued they are by Him and that He is always pursuing their hearts. 

I get to spend the next few days with my parents as they are here on a missions trip at NVM. I am so thankful that they get to experience this beautiful island again this time as my home. There will be lots of prayers and conversations which I am so thankful that my family is so supportive of the life God has chosen for me here in Haiti.

Please pray that God will show me the direction He has planned for my life here in Haiti. I am going to Gonaives on Wednesday to check out Coreluv, a ministry that Defends the orphans. They are building an orphanage that will end up loving 160 of Gods beautiful children. I put it this way when people ask what I am passionate about, I love to love. I LOVE children. Also this last week God has been putting a new desire on my heart with all these experiences with the woman in the ravine. I would love to continue to build relationships and a community where woman expecting can come and learn about their bodies, life skills and how to raise a child. A safe sanctuary where woman and their newborns can come and stay the first few months of their childs life to receive help, love and a safe environment for their baby. A home full of Gods love for those babies that are abandoned and go without love from their earthly parents. 

There is a new ministry that is located just up the street from CLS that is providing a loving environment to abused and broken down women. I am in contact with the founder as she is needing someone to operate the ministry while she is in the states. If this is Gods will for my life then please pray for clarity if that is where He wants me or if its up in Gonaives loving those beautiful souls at the orphanage. 

I love my life. I love Haiti. I love calling this island home. I love the people God is bringing into my life, the children I am able to shower with love, and the relationships that are centered around our Savior. I love being Gods hands and feet. I love this peace that God is sovereign over my life. I love having Him direct me. I love that He loves me. 

Thank you for all your support as I pray one day God will give you this whisper in your ear and desire on your heart to come and experience what He is doing here in Haiti. So you can see why I love this place with my whole heart and how lovely the people are. 

"Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne. Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants. Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord." 
                               Psalm 89:14-15

~E