Being a feeler.

There are those who feel what others are feeling. 

And those who don't.

Well I am a feeler. 

And I feel so much of all those around me.

Who I care for.

Emotions being felt. 

Seasons of life. 

Joy and sadness. 

When a mama is in labor.

I decide I need to feel what she is feeling.

I have my very own "labor" 

Some like to call them "sympathy pains" 

I like to say they are just helping me connect.

Because I have never experienced labor.

So this is my own way. 

Sometimes this life I am venturing into is hard.

To be apart of such a vulnerable time.

A joyful time. 

Or a time of confusion and pain. 

Some can disconnect. 

I can not.

Physically, emotionally and mentally. 

My heart is teathered to all my mamas. 

Here in the states.

In the Philippines.

In the world. 

Seeing what so many mamas go through. 

It either causes my heart so much pain.

Or explode with joy. 

It's hard.

It's frustrating at some times.

And many times I find myself asking God why? 

Yelling at Him.

Not understanding His heart. 

But trusting that He has the best for His children. 

His daughters. 

I am thankful that God allows this for me. 

Allowing me to become so intertwined through midwifery.

Into His family. 

This body.

With my mamas.

Their families. 

Their lives. 

What beautiful stories I get to store away in my heart.

Relationships I have for the rest of my life.

Experiences and moments to share. 

Some days I want to cry. 

Some days I want to just sit and scream. 

Some days I want to hold the sweet moms that God entrusts into my care. 

Let them cry. 

And pour prayers over their life.

And the little one they hold in their bellies. 

In the end.

That's all I can do.

Pray.

Trust. 

And find peace in knowing God has His own 

P.E.R.F.E.C.T. L.O.V.E

Covering each mom. 

What comfort that is.

What a { prayer warrior } I have become.

And I would have it no other way. 

Cause in the end.

I can only do so much. 

And God can do IT ALL.